Friday, August 24, 2012

Virgin-ia Vaginas

Today's post is quasi-legal in nature. It concerns Ken Cuccinelli, the Attorney General of Virginia, which is the state in which I live. Actually it concerns 5 women and a man really, also from Virginia, which derives its name from the Virgin Queen. These 6 young people made a video using the music from a popular song out there called "Call Me Maybe." Only they are not talking about puppy love and flirting. They are accusing A.G. Ken Cuccinelli, whom they call "Cooch" for short, of touching their vaginas.

Now, anatomically speaking, that sounds like it would be a crime to me since they imply the contact was not consensual. And they do not describe how or when Attorney General Cuccinelli put his hands on their vaginas. They just tell him to keep his hands off their vaginas. So why the dude is in the video I don't know, unless he has a vagina that he is hiding. Or maybe to give it gravitas?

In truth, the comments to the video are more entertaining than the actual video. To spare you from having to watch the painful 3 minutes and 13 seconds, here are some snapshots of the six main performers in action.

This angry chick busts some moves, from funky chicken to jump-around-y'all.

I am still confused about the parasol. Maybe angry bleach-blond girl is a southern belle?

More confusion as angry shade-wearing girl studies a dog's privates and sings, "It's my vagina..."

Big-bosomed angry woman lets her claws come out as she dances in the shade,
ready to pounce on the Cooch. Maybe it's HE should be saying "Hands off, Crazy!"

Angry choir-girl-youth-group leader sings about her vagina being off limits.

I still can't figure out which rights this guy is dancing about having lost. Maybe his Air Emirates shirt is a clue.

Boring pink-tank-top girl is running away - she does that a lot in the video.
Here are a few action shots from the video that are worthy of a smile.

Nobody's gonna argue with you on this point one, Hon!


Again, no argument. Your wish is our command!

Oh no she di-uh.

Forget her vagina! Did he just punch her lights out?

Girl, your momma must be proud of you on this shot.

And your grandma, too! Or at least Madonna.

I count only five. Where's the guy at?

Ah, he's playing Vanna White. Is he saying "It's my vagina" too?

Your dentist will be proud to see his handiwork -- or her handiwork -- on display.

At least she ditched the parasol. Looks like she's turning into
the Incredible Hulk: "You won't like me when I'm angry."

I don't know why these ladies felt the need to sing about their vaginas. They can buy condoms at the CVS up the street from my house. And a chastity belt would solve the problem, too. Ain't nobody gonna be wantin' the key.

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