Friday, June 10, 2016

The Definition of Insanity: Am I a Fool or Just Hopelessly ... Stupid?

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. In fact, the saying is attributed to none other than Albert Einstein. So it must be brilliant, right?

So, some who know me will wonder why I am again venturing into another business opportunity that seems to recreate my fiasco from two years ago. That was the six-to-eight months of my life when I attempted an online business and ended up $50,000 in debt, with nothing to show for it but a bruised ego. My marriage survived, mostly because my husband is an amazing man who knows that I am desperately trying to get out of the rat race and be independent from my sit-at-a-desk-all-day-while-going-nowhere job at a nonprofit . I simply want to control my own destiny. I am blessed to have him.

But here are some other sayings attributed to Einstein (at least they show up with his picture when I did a Google search for the above quote) that both inspire me and give me pause.

This quote cuts both ways. I created problems when I invested in the Paramount Concepts marketing program for my website Antlers and Chews in the first half of 2014. Now, two years later, I just made my last payment on the $50,000 in credit card debt that I so stupidly generated in that venture. I am glad to have that behind me, and I want to be prudent in moving forward. Problem solved. Or is it?

I have to wonder: am I using that same-old same-old thinking to solve my lingering problem (being enslaved to an employment situation that I abhor) with this latest business venture? I tell my "No," because I am not investing $50,000 again. I would sooner cut off my right arm than get bilked out of that kind of money again. At a time when Hubby and I are saving for retirement and hoping to move to Florida in a year or two, that kind of financial hit really hurt. And I doubt my marriage would survive another such (idiotic) "investment."

Was I stupid to think I could be my own boss and make a living off my own hard work?

I'd like to think I am a genius. But more likely I am a fish trying to climb a tree. Or am I actually realizing and believing that I am amphibious -- like a frog that has lived in the water all my life, but with the capacity and opportunity to now live on land? And maybe even learn to climb a tree?

Where is all of this going? I guess I am back to the definition of insanity that I started out with, wondering if I am insane to embark upon this new venture. I prefer to call it an ADventure though. Which brings me to a final Einstein quote.

What is different this time is that I did not go out in pursuit of this new opportunity. In fact, I had contented myself to leaving things the same, resigned to working the desk job that drives me crazy until such time as Hubby and I can break away from the metropolitan quagmire where we reside. Insanely, I still had hope that things would change. And that is when this opportunity came to me. I was minding my own business when a family member (or two) approached me with the proposition. And it just made so much sense that I could not refuse. In fact, I would be insane to refuse because I still hope that things will change. So I have to NOT leave everything the same. I have to make the changes. I have to pursue this.

Stay tuned. Please.

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